The Most Ridiculous Things That Ever Happened On First Dates
First dates can be such stressful events that from time to time they produce truly ridiculous moments, and you can’t help but smile at the thought of them years later.
We at Bright Side put together a selection of ten of the funniest dates where something went wrong. Maybe something similar happened to you?
- After her divorce, my friend looked for a man, trying to prove herself she was still likable. She met a guy. It was winter. They went for a long walk. Then he said he was hungry. She beamed and thought they’d go to a restaurant. Another long walk, and then they approached an apartment building, where he said at one of the entrances, "Wait for me here, okay? I’ll go home, have a quick snack, and get back to you."
- My date expressed the wish to buy me some ice cream. I chose chocolate flavor. Four hours later after a wonderful walk together, he took me home, and at the most important moment I became embarrassed. He inadvertently asked a question about the striking features of my face. I didn’t understand what he meant. He clarified by pointing out that if I had even more birthmarks there, it wouldn’t matter, as he found me attractive anyway, and that there was always medical treatment available to remove them. In a state of confusion, I said goodbye, and then back in my apartment saw in the mirror that I had a huge brown chocolate ice cream stain on my cheek.
- I took a girl on a first date to a karaoke night. She chose to sing Whitney Houston’s "I Will Always Love You," and she sang it beautifully. It would have been fine if she hadn’t shouted out to the whole room before it started that she was dedicating the song to her ex-boyfriend.
- I suggested to my date that we go and see an art house movie. We got to the movie theatre, and the next viewing was for something called Shortbus. There was no information about it or reviews online. We bought the tickets and took our seats. It turned out that my date didn’t know English as his first language, so he would have to read the subtitles — but he was also shortsighted. He calmed me down when I apologized, saying that it didn’t matter as long as the movie was good. The movie started, and the first shot was of something I couldn’t make sense of. The camera panned backward slowly, and it became clear that it was a certain part of a man’s anatomy. At this point, the man got out of the bathtub and started masturbating. It turned out that the movie was about a nymphomaniac who had an older lover, and it was filled with many shocking scenes. Blushing like crazy, I suggested that we leave, and we were both incredibly embarrassed. I thought that this had to be one of the worst moments of my life. But it turned out that this wasn’t the end of my woes. After the movie, we were walking to the subway, when suddenly I felt very sick. It seems I had caught a stomach bug that had been circulating. I just about managed to gasp, "Will you be friends with me even if I throw up?" He led me to the subway, green and sweating. We never went on another date. But it is amusing to look back on it now.
- Ten minutes before the start of our date, a pigeon pooped on me. I learned on that day that bird poop smells terrible. I decided not to tell my date what had happened, but the whole time there was a very unpleasant smell in the air around me. Not good for a first impression.
- I took a girl to Starbucks because I was so nervous that I forgot her name.
- My date had learned that I loved photography, and he invited me on a date very early in the morning so that I could take some shots of the fog. It was November; the weather was cold, and I had two cameras and a large rucksack. After two hours of walking around, he walked down some steps and shouted out that there was a beautiful view from the shore. I took a couple of steps in his direction and suddenly fell under water. The only thought I had at the time was "Look how brown the water is!"
- My date went so badly that I gave the waiter $10 to "accidentally" spill a drink on me.
- I invited a girl to the movies on a first date. It was November. She came wearing a coat with a bright scarf tied around her neck. She was beautiful and smiling. Ten minutes into the movie, I realized that it was some load of garbage. I started shifting in my seat and thinking about how to save the situation. I began to joke about the plot of the movie. She laughed, but didn’t turn her gaze away from the screen for a second — she couldn’t care less what I had to say! I tried my hardest to tell jokes the whole evening, but it was no use. She later admitted to me that a few days before our date she had damaged her neck, and she had to wear a neck brace. She simply couldn’t turn her head! She didn’t want to cancel the date, so she just covered the brace with her scarf.
© Chuck Lorre Productions
- I once went on a double blind date. My friends wanted to set me up, and they told me to bring a bottle of red wine. Being such a skilled person, I came over to their house, immediately tripped over the doorway into the living room, fell, and broke the bottle against the corner of the sofa. It had been white up until that point. That’s where our relationship ended — before it began.
- We came out of the subway and went into the underpass. It was at this point that I — all self-confident in my red dress, having had a wonderful evening and almost in love with the young man accompanying me — tripped over a paving stone right in front of his eyes and fell down into the dirt. I was so embarrassed and ashamed, and I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me and to cry. But he just picked me up, hugged me, calmed me down, and helped me wipe the blood and dirt from my knees. Then he pressed me against him and kissed me. He later admitted that it was my dismay that helped him find the courage to take that step.
Based on materials from thequestion, boredpanda